Scary Jewellery

"In like a lion, out like a lamb. That was true of March this year", to quote Eric Crozier.

I do hope, nay, pray that this is true, judging by the new trend that has emerged on the high street this month...

SCARY JEWELLERY - DUM DUM DUUUUUHHHH!!!

Now, I do not, nor have I ever claimed to actually know anything about fashion, so would someone in the know please tell me what is going on here? When did wearing a knuckle duster become socially acceptable, let alone fashionable?

Topshop seem to be leading the way in ultra-violent accessories, and believe me, it doesn't end there. Check out this "piece":

Imagine, if you dare, this paired with a "body chain necklace". You may as well go the whole hog and buy a gimp mask and a whip.

I think the most upsetting range is earrings. Now I'm a sucker for a pair of big, bold, kitsch earrings. Not to everyone's taste I'm sure, but when compared to some of the monstrosities offered in good ol' Topshop... Well, you can decide for yourself. Check out these bad guys...

Need I say more? Well just you wait....

Most disturbing! I decided to investigate further, and checked out www.topshop.com. To my horror, not only are there more shocking attrocities, but it actually gets worse. What on God's clean earth is this??

And don't even get me started on this....

Terrifying. Who is buying these? Seriously? SHAME ON THEM.

TOPSHOP, Ugly Fashionista has spoken. You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.